


The consequences of surviving

by Melime



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-07
Updated: 2016-06-07
Packaged: 2018-07-12 23:40:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7128689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melime/pseuds/Melime
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When he thought they were dying, John kissed Rodney, now they have to deal with the consequences.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The consequences of surviving

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Português brasileiro available: [As consequências de sobreviver](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7128704) by [Melime GreenLeaf (Melime)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melime/pseuds/Melime%20GreenLeaf)



> This is an alternate ending to [Stay with me](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5755366), although that's still a standalone. I really liked where I ended that one, but I couldn't let go of this idea to save them.

Death felt surprisingly pleasant. Like floating in a white cloud where no thoughts could disturb him. It was peaceful, as if nothing else existed, except for Rodney’s voice faint in the distance. John wanted to laugh because of course Rodney would still be talking even after he died, but he couldn’t move. It was a familiar sensation, although he couldn’t quite place where he felt that before.

And then the pain came crashing down.

“Don’t try to move,” Carson said, pointing his light at John’s eyes that had just opened, “you have five broken ribs and I’m trying to bring you down from the morphine.”

“Rodney?” he asked in a weak voice.

Carson pulled back the curtain separating the two beds. “He’s fine. Or rather you’ll both be fine in a few days, if you rest and do as you are told.”

Rodney, who was complaining before about one thing or another, was suddenly quiet. He couldn’t think of anything to say to John, and keep yelling at Carson now that John was awake seemed wrong somehow.

Carson helped John drink a bit of water, and started listing everything John couldn’t do for the next couple of weeks.

“Don’t get me wrong,” John said once Carson was done, glad to see that his voice came out almost normal, “but how are we not dead?”

“Oh.” Rodney stared at the ceiling. “I… you were dying, you were dead. I needed to do something, anything to get us out of there, even if it was a longshot.”

“What did you do?”

“I overcharged the ZPM and then directed the charge to the shield, causing it to rapidly expand and then collapse. Hermiod made sure to let me know that we were very lucky that the Daedalus arrived in time to catch us, or the debris would have crushed us. Not my most brilliant idea, but it worked… and depleted the ZPM.”

“Wow, a whole ZPM. It was almost at one hundred percent, right?” John wondered if Rodney had thought of that possibility earlier but hadn’t done it because he thought he could come up with something else, but he wasn’t about to ask that to a clearly upset Rodney.

“It’s all your fault! I was trying to come up with something and then you kissed me and _died_ , sorry if I was too distressed to think of something better.”

Carson, who was checking the monitors, discretely backed away, dragging the only nurse there along and leaving the two alone.

Rodney blushed, realizing what he had said. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to–”

John waved dismissively, which took more effort than it should have. Perhaps on another occasion, he would have been bothered, but now he had been dead for God knows how many minutes and was coming down from the morphine, so he didn’t much care. “I doubt Beckett will tell anyone.”

“So…”

“So…?”

“You kissed me. And then you died. Which is very rude and will give me nightmares for months. As if I didn’t have enough traumatic kisses in my past.”

John moved to scratch the back of his head, feeling the pain spread throughout his torso. It’s not as if he planned for things to happen this way. “What do you want me to say?”

“How about why did you do it?” Rodney asked, staring at him as if he was a particularly intriguing piece of Ancient tech.

And John wanted to tell him, he wanted to explain everything that was going on in his head when they were down there, but he still couldn’t put it in words, so he settled for the second best option. “Because I had things that I wanted to tell you, I couldn’t stand for us to die without you knowing, but I couldn’t put them in words, I still can’t, so I thought if I did this you would know.”

John thought that sounded silly, but Rodney nodded thoughtful as if he understood exactly what John meant.

“So you only kissed because you thought we were going to die?”

Or maybe he didn’t understand at all.

John sighed. “No. And yes. What do you expect of me, Rodney?”

“I just want to understand.”

John tried to organize the mess in his head. “I thought we had time to sort out this thing between us, or that I would die before we had a chance but that I was fine with it. But when that happened, I… I needed you to know. To know that this is something.” That was probably the most he ever talked about his feelings, and he hoped Rodney would stop now because he couldn’t think of anything else to say.

“You really suck at expressing your feelings, did you know that?”

John did the best he could to shrug without upsetting his ribs. He was as he was. “So, are we good?”

Rodney rolled his eyes. “No way. You traumatized me! I demand reparation. I’m talking the chocolate that I know you have been hiding, bringing me coffee, and kisses that don’t involve dying, then we can talk about forgiving you.”

John needed a moment to process what he was saying. Then he chuckled and immediately regretted it, add that to the list of things he couldn’t do for a while. “You drive a hard bargain, but I accept your terms.”

“That was too easy, I should have asked for something else.”

“I could offer some suggestions, but I would prefer to do that in private.”

Rodney rolled his eyes. “You are going to make me pay for talking about the kiss in front of Carson, aren’t you?”

John smirked. “Maybe. I’ll have to come up with something once my head isn’t all fuzzy from the morphine.”

Rodney’s expression became dark. “You really died, you know? Your heart stopped beating and you weren’t breathing and I didn’t know what to do to save you.”

“I’m sorry,” John said, even though it wasn’t his fault and there wasn’t really anything he could have done to prevent it.

“You better be, and don’t you dare do that again.”

“I won’t die as long as I have you there to save me. That’s our thing, isn’t it?”

Rodney took the lid of the cup of jello he had earlier and tossed it in the general vicinity of John’s head, missing by a foot. “I’m serious, don’t die. I… I don’t know what I would have done if you… Just, don’t die, ok?”

“I can’t promise you that.”

“You can lie to me.”

“Yeah, but I won’t.”

“You are an idiot and if I could stand up right now I would go over there and kiss you,” Rodney said somewhat angrily.

“I’m getting conflicting messages here, buddy.” And, seeing that Rodney was really upset about this, he reached in between the beds, offering his hand. “Hey.”

Rodney huffed, but reached for John’s hand.

John squeezed his fingers. “I promise I’ll try, ok?” Then he let go of the hand, because stretching this much was getting uncomfortable.

“You better, because if you don’t, I’m the one who’ll have to find a way to bring you back.”

And John believed him. John believed Rodney would do anything possible and impossible to save him. “I know.”

“Do you think we can call Carson back now? I’m starving and the breakfast they gave me was seriously lacking.”

John laughed. Things were just fine.


End file.
